robinloves's Blog

Hi people - I haven't forgotten you all - most defiantly not! I'm still hard at work on my first novel. There hasn't been much going on at the moment due to me writing, I decided to stay focused on this solo project in order to finish on time, only then can I offer you my undivided attention. So make sure look out for my book in the coming year.

But as I love you all so very much, I decided to give you something that may tickle your fancy. Inspired by Bridgette Jones’s diary, Robin Loves brings you - Catch 22.

'Don't you just hate fancying for you partners best friend? I do, Ok I don't!'

Her story - her life - her diary.

Feel free to subscribe and leave your comments. I look forward to reading them all.

Enjoy http://catch22robinlove.blogspot.com/

Hi people.

You’ve probably been wondering what I’ve been up to lately and why I’ve not wrote any new blogs.  Well the true is, I’ve been focusing a lot of my time and energy in writing my first ever novel!

He told me he loved me... and I believed him!

So, to all my blog readers and supporters, I’ve been very busy. I will keep you informed of all the happenings as it happens, but be sure to look out for my book in stores in 2010.

 Also look out for me in the movie “One Day” 2be released in cinemas near you in mid October 2009.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNXuZeShkVg&feature=related

 And see me in portfolio action:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKfmNX-i4P8&feature=channel_page

Enjoy!

-xXx-

My mood: very jubilant

One thing I got from this experience is - I appreciate my vocal sound more. If you remember I wrote a blog on my singing audition a few weeks back, well after that episode I got through to the finale.

For my audition, as a song writer, I sung one of my own and it sparked great interest in my abilities – I never recorded my songs professionally until that point so I sung acapella. Taking the judges advise (as you do when you think they may know best - I never  before believed in judges oppinions – I gave them the benefit of the doubt I suppose) I was advised to sing WITH a backing track for the finale as it could increase my chances of wining – cut a long story short I changed the song to India Aries “Ready For Love” as I hade the backing track handy (I love that song) but in rehearsals the judges were sceptical, they felt it didn’t quite suit or show the full potential in my vocals –  I then changed to another of my own, then yet another - until finally I was singing the song I sung for my 1st audition - what a rollercoaster of a time!! I went to the studio, got a backing track and was happy with my choice.

It’s fair to say alot of people were shocked that I didn’t make it to the top five of the ‘JUDGES’ choice; the people felt that the top five choice should have been down to them - the audience, as they ‘re the listeners and future buyers, alot of people were left thinking - hmmmm! Some say the judges knew who they wanted from the start, had I been in the final five there’s a good chance I could have won... it's just a dog eat dog! Yes the winner is a good singer - I giver her that, not much a performer though. Singing another artists song is basically imitation mostly and very easily done - there’s not much hard work in it, unless you can make it your own which she really didn’t! I suppose making someone else’s song your own is not an option when you know you can sing their song just as well – what a talent?!! Ok I’m being sarcastic – but don’t you think that that’s just another form of acting??

Well done to her anyhow, this experience has thought me to be stern - my subconscious clearly knows best. Good luck to the winner - at 15 it seems like you’ve got a bright future ahead of you – Ok I’m being sarcastic *hahaha* let’s just hope you don’t turn into a manic with all the new found responsibility! We don’t need another Britney Spears episode. Thank you to all the people that supported me – the banners were amazing.  :o)

Well you haven’t heard the last of Ms Love – not ever, I’ll be back with a bang as everybody gets their chance to shine. The next thing on my list is the premier to the movie I’m featured in titled “One Day” so you’ll see me sooner then you may think. It’s released September 4th, the trailer link’s at the bottom.

Once I get my voice back from the total excitement of last nights experience I’ll be back singing for the world to hear – my single “Smile” will be out on the road soon!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNXuZeShkVg

My mood: very amazed
 

The smell of his sweet scent and the feeling I got from his embrace - his kiss... I truly missed him so. I though of him every passing day, the moments we shared I didn’t want them to fade away. If only he could have stayed longer...

He felt my body, my rhythm in one - the next morning when I wake, I knew he would’ve been gone. What a caring soul, how could his choice be so wrong? When it was me who loved him dearly - I loved him all along.

He makes me feel ready, ready to start life - when I told him he deserves to be happy, it was me I saw as his wife. His body so perfect to me, his attitude so endearing, is he too good to be true...? Well, his not with me - his with you!

I enjoyed my time with him – Yes, I enjoyed my time with you, if ever you get to read this blog just know I’m thinking of you. Could we ever get another chance together? I really hope so - but right now it feels as if it was a dream, so I really wouldn’t know. Will we ever be on the same page, will our feelings ever live through? Whatever our future holds.... it’s really up to you.

I like your innocent style - it’s a sexy look for you, I like the lifestyle you lead – I’m really proud of you. If only you can see what I see, then realise this is real for me, seeing you through a glass window is not enough baby. How can I touch you, smell you, feel your sweet caress - when your complicated personal life, leaves our life in such a mess!!

As I take a deep breathe and thank the lord that I am blessed, I am thankful to even know you, if nothing less. So I’ll give you the time and space - to work on a relationship you shouldn’t waste, I just hope your partner realises that she came first place. I’m always here for you - you know as friends do, you always know where to find me, if you ever need me too.

My mood: very loved
 

Breaking up is never easy!! Now if l really liked the person I tend to send the random text every now and then - just to maintain the peace. If l didn’t really like them then it’s just a case of keep it moving, yet sometimes you’re never quite sure where some actually fit in and that’s when the famous one liners pop up – “I can’t do this!” or “What’s the point...?” or “It’s not you, it’s me!” with those lines uttered I tend to just roll my eyes and say “Whatever, I was never going to miss you anyway!!” then laugh at how pathetic they are – LOSERS! Now I ask, is there ever a positive way to breaking up? When do you know it’s time to break up, before the “It’s getting ugly” stage occurs?

My ideal break up story would be two people (obviously) reaching a joint decision – e.g. “Honey it’s been fun... you’ve taught me so much and my life has changed for the better... you’ve helped me see things through a different perspective and I’m proud of who we’ve both become, our time together has now come to an end but it was one of the greatest chapters in my life and I thank you.”  I mean that sounds amicable – right?! Fat chance of it happening though – WE WISH!! I’ll tell you what our problem is, (and this is another reason why I consider my feelings in everything I do so that I can act accordingly - with no regrets) or problem is we don’t know how to express our feelings and the thoughts that plague our mind before they build up. To top it off showing no willingness to even talk about it, their only option is to run away. So ironically in this case IT ISN’T THE OTHER PARTY THAT ARE THE PROBLEM – IT’S YOU!! Until we can learn to be more considerate, breaking up will never be easy.

Now, to all the guys that have ever broken up with me by this method stated above – You’re an arse!!! I can think of one in particular which is still raw in my mind, the one that still hasn’t managed to grow balls and be civil, instead he acts like baby and throws hissy fits – Are they still making men like that?! *sighs* If there is anything I must do noble one please let me know – but for heaven sake please don’t send anymore weak men my direction. By weak I mean (by my last example); no more childish, insecure, manipulating, cunning, sponging, ignorant, sick freaks with twisted fantasies type of men!! No hair growing “Plate my hair!” demanding type of men!! No long belly, walk without any money in his pockets type of men - better you stay home!! No name calling men and most of all no man who thinks he knows it all – because clearly with flaws like these his missing the point, doesn’t really know how to conduct himself and he represents no one - and doesn't know it all!! So wise one, would there be any men left after eliminating these flaws from my potentials? Are these types of men which are giving all men a bad name taking over? Does a man without these annoying, irritating qualities even exists? I mean truly, surly I’m not asking for too much – right?!

Seriously though, what’s happening with the maturity in our men (and some women - unfortunately)? Even the younger siblings are acting more responsible.....

My mood: pretty okay
 

Now, it’s been awhile since I skated, 2 years to be exact, I was beginning to think my poor little skates would never see day light again and that roller skating was a thing of the past! So you could imagine my delight and surprise when I found out there was to be a Roller disco night every Thursday from 9pm in my local area – I was over the moon!!

I attended the Roller disco open night last week and it was nice, wonderful to see all the other people who could skate better then me and my sister, just watch them go! They just glide around the floor as if their only challenge was to walk a few laps in heels!! Skating isn’t as easy as it looks - AT ALL! But I’m learning and having fun at the same time, I’d say I’m at stage two – THE NOT FALLING OVER STAGE!! I tell you what; it don’t half agonise your legs – what a fab exercise. It’s like a four in one night out, good exercise, fun, a bar close by and the chance of picking up a fit lad (or lady) *hahahaha* who could ask for more then that?! I know where I’ll be on Thursday nights from 9pm! :o)

The people are friendly, welcoming and willing to help you find your skating feet. The location is quiet and intimate so it seems like a private party – which is even more fabulous, it’s even a nice area to hang out in the day as it is right by the reservoir where you can bring family, friends and love ones – so you can’t lose really.

So if you’re familiar with the movie “ATL” YES - the film (starring rapper TI) and the official music video for “love like this” by Faith Evans or maybe my favourite music video by “Soul 4 Real” will refresh your memory, (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eNQMb8wpdA) you’ll be aware of how brilliant roller disco is and now it's our turn to bring the flavour! Every Thursday from 9pm @ the TOWER BALL ROOM, if u haven’t got skates don’t worry they will provide them for £2, over 18’s only. For more information on prices and location type in "Roller Revolution" in your facebook search box or click on this link http://www.thetowerbirmingham.co.uk/whats-on.html. Who needs PLANET ICE when we can have BOOGY NIGHTS once a week! I enjoyed the opening night so "ROLL" on next week!! Mwah xx

My mood: extremely cheerful
 

I have a new found respect for Ross Kemp. I never quite knew what to make of him before, as I only ever viewed him as just another wannabe TV thug. I recently stumbled across a documentary he carried out in Jamaica - titled Gang Nation. Although I’ve seen clips of this documentary before, it’s as though I’m seeing him with new eyes, I see more depth to his character then what was portrayed on the TV soap, I now see what they saw in Ross Kempt to have casted him for his on screen role. On the BBC1 soap Eastenders, we know him to go by the name Grant Mitchell. In the four nights a week episode he was a well known thug to the square, along side his still on screen brother Phil Mitchell, Grant was fearless and was to be feared. The duos were the ultimate bullies on the square with a soft centre for their mother – Peggy, and the ladies!! Boy did he have his day!

As I stumbled across the Gang Nation documentary, my new found respect comes from seeing his bravery, guts, and to some degree – his interest! He pushes the boundaries and delves into a system that is unwelcoming to outsiders. I’m aware of the intimidation that comes from going into Jamaican garrisons, Ross Kemp faces the un-known fear head on (with the support and constant presents of his camera crew – obviously). He speaks with gangsters, police officers and handles weaponry. He attempts to get to the heart of the war situation in Jamaica’s Capital “Kingston”, knowing that at any moment he could be put into grave danger. I wouldn’t say I’d personally feel comfortable going into a violent society where in 2006 it became the murder capital of the world, with a statistic that one person is killed every six hours to asking questions, so Ross Kemp - has balls!!

On his first meeting he met with police in down town Kingston (the building was riddled with bullets), there he was informed of a man who was on the run form the police, for killing three men, one included a police officer. Ross Kemp later in the show met a Don from one of Jamaicas garrisons; he asked the 24 year old “Why do you think it’s a violent society?” The Don replied “Oh gosh! You know, sometimes that puzzles me too. But I have a suggestion to make, the guys that make the movies have a lot to do with why people take up this kind of life, everybody wants to be a movie star.” (Now do you see yet again the effects of TV and how influential it is on the sensitive mind?) The Don then continues to say “I think from my point of view the majority of the people in the world are gangsters, I think the police are gangers, the prime ministers are gangsters - they’re high-level gangsters. It’s the same thing we do; it’s just that they are legal to do it.” (Isn’t that some shit?!) By the time Ross Kemps journey came to an end in Jamaica’s capital “Kingston”, the most wanted man was found – he was shot dead by the police! He was 23. They say if you’re a gangster in Jamaica – you’re lucky to reach the age of 25!

These are all heart breaking facts; the gangs have lost purpose as to why they fight one another, other then to defend their patch. What will it take for this cycle to end? Ross Kemp brought further insight to the war that currently still exists. He states without change to the government and the infrastructure to the garrison towns the level of violence will only increase.

Thank you to Ross Kemp and his team, for showing courage and bravery - WOW, well done!  

My mood: somewhat impressed
 

I didn’t realise how nerve racking singing live in front of an audience can really be! (Well maybe I did, hence why I don’t do it too often) But it really is nerve racking, I’ve only ever sung in front of family and friends and recorded the odd song, but where the nerves suddenly come from I don’t know, I don’t understand, why?! I know I’m a good singer, I know I have loads confidence, but what is it that holds me back so much?? Is it fear?? If so, what am I scared of?! Ok they do say practise makes perfect and I haven’t done much of that - on stage, but will I always be this way even if I get the entire practise I need? I mean even famous singers still get nervous before a performance and even more so in front of a smaller audience, so are nerves a good thing? What do nerves mean?? When I sing in front of an audience it’s like I can’t stop the nerves in my voice rising and then when I come to think of it, was I even breathing?? *hahahahaa* It’s like I wanna scream, FU*K SAKE – GET A GRIP, YOU STUPID ARSE!! Then take in a deep breath and be done with the whole bad feeling - which makes me feel like chocking and pretending to faint. Oh I don’t know maybe I should just stick to writing songs and selling them!! It’s a shame coz I shouldn’t give up, really I shouldn’t, but I don’t know what I want to get out of it any more, specially if I’m going to feel like that always – but I love singing, it’s my heart, my passion and I love making cool notes with my voice, sometimes I even give myself goose bumps which is fantastic (but why the bloody nerves?)!! I used to want to be world known, like Aaliyah, but now I realise how ugly the world can be, I don’t even Know if I want that sort of fame anymore (sure I do), maybe I just need to sit back and decide where I would like to fit in, hmmm, hopefully the people around me can give me some grate ideas, but open Mic night is defiantly the way forward. I take my hat off to all you singers, aspiring singers and performers – as it really isn’t as easy as it looks. I admire you even more now – well done!! Now let me try and get some sleep....

Ok, so it’s the next morning and I’ve practically bleach the night away – I went to sleep and 4:30am and that’s only because I kept losing at solitaire – it’s now 9:30am and I’m awake again. I didn’t want to fall asleep, I don’t deserve sleep after the flop we call nerves I had while performing (which wasn’t that bad might I add – I do tend to dramatise everything). Maybe I shouldn’t have went up the second time, I should have just ran for the hills – but no, the little voice was saying “Go on, you know you love the stage – just do it, it’s yours, your fab!” Well thank you little voice - I hate myself for it, I should have stuck with my own voice. Nerves are crap, when I think back to those moments all I can do is cringe, God help me! After being so hard on myself I’ve decided the only way I’m to really get through this is to get back out there, that’s what I must do, I must get back out there again, at any chance I get, these morning nerves.... are killing me and I don’t (WILL NOT) give up this easy – you haven’t seen the last of my yet – so give me that bloody mic!! (And if I don’t get to the second round, at least I got a T-shirt.)

 I have never before taken time out to look into black history, I have always just speculated. Maybe it was because I wasn’t ready to delve into it; perhaps it was because I wasn’t ready to handle the truth or maybe I thought it didn’t really affect me today. Boy was I wrong. I’ve come to understand how black people are still living repercussions of history - so yes indeed, it still affects me. Slavery went on for more then 300 years and ended just over 100 years ago, that means we haven’t even come half way from the suffering we endured for so long – we are still living the aftermath and the segregation still reigns high. I blocked it out and was over looking the true depth of my own history, which made me an example of the Willie Lynch prophesies. (You may, if you haven’t already, want to take time out to find out more on Willie Lynch and his prophesies.) I was lost and far removed from the suffering and knowledge of my own people; my people who have shed blood for me, died for me and still to this day fight for me. How could I have been so mislead? I kick myself.

It didn’t take me long to come to my senses once I started to seek answers and new understandings, I was surprised to know all the things I had overlooked, yet I was so harsh to my brothers when they speak of it. If I had the energy I would cry, but this is no time for tears, it’s a time for strength, courage and awareness. What my ancestors experienced I could never begin to understand, or feel the pain that they felt, hear their crises or begin to know what it must have been like for them, my heart bleeds from the injustice. The look on her face as she sees her husband being tortured, beaten and bruised, while she stands on the sideline being made to watch. She holds her young child in her arms, in an effort to console the child from what she can not explain. Her pain!! Her discomfort!! - That is what hurts. Then there’s the rape, battery and manipulation to our women, task masters taking their pleasure as they saw fit, husbands are made powerless. His pain!! His anger!! – That is what hurts. The captivity - ripped from their homes and from those they loved, to a “new world” they knew NOTHING about. Their pain!! Their suffering...., their confusion!! – That is what hurts. I could never empathize, the pain in which my people had to bear. My heart bleeds and my head is aching from the history that still affects us today. Today we are given an inch so that others can take (the piss) a mile, so the struggle and the war’s not yet over. How can individuals ever forget, overlook and become removed from our history when it stares us so blatantly in the face. I look in the mirror and I see the shape of my nose, my lips and the colour of my skin, I am not just who I think I am, I am a clear  representation, a descendant of my ancestors who lived before me, who strive and fort for me, so that I could have my freedom.

Scholars before us researched long and hard to bring us knowledge and awareness, to keep use well informed of our history, they took it upon themselves to find the truth and deliver it to us. We as a people consequently should learn our true history as it’s our human right and need. History is never a thing of the past, its now, its today – we are living the results of our history.

So the answer to my once asked question “When will we ever hear the end of history?” is now very clear to me, the answer is NEVER! For as long as my people are still suffering, we will never hear the end of history! For as long as we continued to be brain washed, we will never hear the end of history! For as long as we are oppressed, we will never hear the end of history, and if that day should ever come when we are truly free, we still will never hear its end – this, is our history!

Ok, here’s a little bit about me, the writer, Robin Love.

I’m generally a happy person – I like to think *laughs* and I get on with people quite well. I enjoy new adventures as long as I don’t put myself in harms way, I’m quite the cautious worrier type and I like the way I am. I suppose I can be quite sensitive as I have the need to do my best in whatever I set myself to do, I what my best to be good enough! When putting your heart and soul into any project it leaves anyone slightly sensitive to the response they may get. Anyway, enough about my sensitive side - I like hanging out with friends and having a laugh, I’m usually the joker and the loud one, once I find my feet. I enjoy being bubbly as I do tend to really make myself laugh; it can at times become difficult when people expect you to be funny at the drop of a hat – but hay! Not every morning I get out of bed on the right side you know!!! I do enjoy the company of others whether it’s male or female; I find them both to be very interesting. (Males more though, but don’t tell my female friends that, I just find males to be more conscious then females and they laugh more on the most stupidest things – which I find GRATE!! *laughs out loud*) I don’t see myself as a girlie girl – not at all, I’m just lady with all the womanly attributes but very down to earth, as beauty is only skin deep, to be obsessed with vanity is for losers and is a total sin (not good)!! Hey maybe I should do a blog on the 7 deadly sins – hmmm... You see that just then - my change of thought? Well welcome to my world, I’m like that all the time, I talk about one thing the jump on to something totally random *laugh out lout again*, my friends tell me I do it all the time - Oh and they tell me I go on stand by (you know, like I’m listening but I’m not really responding coz my thoughts are somewhere else *laughs*) I suppose that’s why they love me – I’m just cool like that!

 Anyway, back to my main point to why I’m writing this, the reason I am writing this is just to show my readers I do have a pulse and that I’m not always overly serious and formal. The way I write is just to help you to understand my points, my views and make reading my blogs more fun, so I hope you do find it helpful. I’m pretty much a deep person with a light heart; writing helps me express those personality traits, anything you’ve read from my blog is just a tip of the iceberg as to how passionate I feel about the subjects I’ve touched on, the rest I leave to your own imagination. They say; a good writer always leaves their readers wanting more. So if you’re enjoying what you’re reading then I guess its - Job done!!

So, let me take this time to thank you for reading my blogs and for following my updates so far. Even though you are silent, the amounts of views are overwhelming in such a short amount of time - so thank you all very much. If there is anything you would like me to feature for my blog or put my views on, don’t hesitate to leave your suggestions, I’ll review it and see about getting a blog out as soon as I can. So until my next blog, my time is up. I hope you’ve enjoyed this intermission, I look forward to seeing your views in the future or maybe a comment or two *smiles* - ciao 4 now... peace! xxx

My mood: very thankful
 

Why is it still so hard for me to find work with my level of experience? (Carrie from Sex and the City once said; “Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink!” - So true) Do you think maybe this is just another ploy to cripple us into the control they call a system, putting more and more people out of work daily, calling it “The Recession”?  We’ve all heard the saying, which follow something along the lines of; “Create destruction to gain control!” Do you think that maybe this is just a modern day disguise, so that they choose yet again how we should live our lives. Soon money will be worth nothing, then what will be in its place? – Chip implants anyone?! Have you ever thought of this?! Isn’t it scary to think what our future really holds?

I asked my grandmother what her thoughts were on how she views the world today, (More to the point my exact words were - “Nan, do you realise how screwed up this world we’re living in is?”) her replay was; “Yes, I do. The though of it makes my heart bleed, whatever next? No one understands the daily struggles of how honest people are made live. It isn’t the world that’s bad; it’s some of the people that live in it. People’s minds are played with and it’s sending them crazy, yet people don’t know why their going crazy but it’s all down to the sociological happenings that are going on in the world today! How can a human live where you ask questions and get no answers!! Who is their to answer us but God? Who else but him will give me an answer?”  Her thoughts did have an affect on me, I was worried. Aged 66 she’s seen the changes of the world over a grater length of time then I, although we both are aware things are changing we still ask the question - Are they changing for the better?  A wise man aged 75 then said to me, once faced with the same question; “Oh dear, what to say?” his reaction was startling, as I knew he viewed thing as being not as bliss as they once were. He finished by saying “Whether we believe it or not, it will come!”  I was afraid to ask him what he meant by this - one because I didn’t what to sit threw an evening of his explanation (I’m terrible, I know), and two, I felt it quite explanatory, (whether he meant it in good or bad) I could pretty much work it out by myself.

Then I really asked myself; what ‘is’ it all about? I ask why do we smoke and how DID this habit come about? Why do we drink - excessively? Why do people take drugs and party so hard? Is there really such thing as aids, or is it really (as some say) the cure that kills you - like chemo treatments for cancer patients? Why do we watch so much TV and spend so little time with our families – communicating or just playing? Could it all be down to the influences of Television?! Normal goes as far as your mind will allow you to think, but if we are cabbaged into thinking TV examples are the way forward, defining how we should structure our lives – then we’ve been fooled! Where does it leave our own personal thoughts and common sense?! The more time spent distracting our minds and suppressing our thoughts, the less we develop who we are as individuals, its less time we spend thinking for ourselves – Now do you understand the term cabbage?  Ask yourself what life must have been like before TV and the influences it’s created – Go on, ask yourself!! In music; why do they say hip hop is so powerful and for WHAT reason? Hmmm!! So many questions so we must think, the examples stare you in the face everyday so make sense out of non-sense.

 You see as time goes on things seem more stressful, we always remember days when things wasn’t so bad - those were the days when money, power and material things were less glorified, now everybody what’s a slice of the cake, not realising in many cases, it may never come to be.

Ok, I’m going to touch on friendships for a brief moment, as there are some many different concepts to what people expect from friendships and what they feel they should put into a friendship. They do say; do on to others as you expect others to do on to you – well, as we all have different standards, it’s a tuff nut to crack.

 Where do we draw the line on expectations and obligations in friendships and who should we really call a ‘friendship’? All friendships are different, what makes them so different is how we handle each other, how we express ourselves to one another, level of respect, how we see the other person and most of all what purpose they serve. Now some friendships allow you to be free, to return without a scratch to the foundation you’ve built – So that means, even though you don’t speak or see each other constantly, it doesn’t make them any less of a friend. Other friendships are different and may not allow you this type of freedom, you may feel obligated to check in on a more frequent base as it becomes routine. Now if you both feel the same way - happy with the arrangements there’s no problem, but if you don’t however, (one person feeling ignored and the other pressured) it could spell trouble. What do you do in a case such as this? - TALK! What about friendships where you feel you’re unable to express yourself fully, constantly holding your feelings back in fear of offending the other or starting a fight, how do you handle this situation? – YOU TAKE A DEEP BREATH; COLLECT YOUR THOUGHTS THEN TALK!

Word of advice; never say what you have to say via text massaging or any other means of this sort i.e. changing chat room status, it has a negative affect – PERIOD!! Although you could mean it in the most positive caring way you must remember text messages and status updates come with no tone of voice or expression, no matter how self explanatory you make it. Have guts to approach the situation head on - all friends deserve that respect!

Then you have friends who say what’s on their mind regardless of how it affects the person or the friendship. If you say to a friend “I find your views offensive and hurtful.” (Or whatever the case maybe) this friend should then take steps to try and change or become more tactful. If this person refuses to curve their ways, they are stubborn and not the kind of person you should keep as a friend. So what to do in this case? CREATE DISTANCE OR END THE FRIENDSHIP! Another scenario is this; if you find it hard to express how a friend is making you feel - what should you then do? SPEAK TO SOMEONE WHO WILL UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELINGS, DONT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE INTIMIDATED OR BULLIED! Friends shouldn’t have to feel the need to try or justify themselves at every turn, it should just flow. Friends should be supportive of each other, listen to each other, understanding of each others views no matter how hard it is to take. They should feel free to argue and laugh and rise above issues that hold the friendship back – anything less then this, you're not ‘friends’!!!

Define what a friend is to you using the word companion. If you find you can not call someone a companion (which is someone whom you have unconditional love for, care for, respect and to some degree couldn’t see your self living without) then I’m sorry - you aren’t friends – your associates!! Define this for yourself as it could save you a lot of disappointments in the future. The word ‘friend’ is not to be taken lightly or given freely; it should be earned just like anything else. So don’t be afraid to demote who you have called a friend - just think of it as an object that has finally found its rightful place. There are many aspect to what makes someone a friend, but no matter what they are, it should never cause you discomfort.

Let me just take this time to say cheers, to MY two best friends, I love you both very much – Thank you for being the way you are! xx  

Bills - how do we ever get threw paying them? Why do we have to pay them? OK, fair enough we do use energy, but paying for water, gas and electric - It’s a joke! If you move into a new house and have not declared residence, does that mean water stops coming threw your pipes??? I think not. So why are we paying some mug (or are we the mugs?), for use of these facilities? Only for them to unnecessarily rip us off! What about the fact bills keep going up every year - why is this? Even if you’re away on travel, single and work on using less energy - you’re still made to pay more each year. If paying bills means we’re paying for maintenance, why is it we’re constantly being charged? Isn’t a small contribution enough?! Surely new pipes and the cost to lay them shouldn’t cost each household the amount we constantly have to pay.

As they like to do surveys, they should do a survey along these lines (I’m sure the public will be more then happy to take part); we pay nothing for a year! Let’s see what difference it REALLY makes. Let us ‘the public’ decide whether or not we see it fit to be paying these bills – constantly! After all, the customers are ‘always right’ - right? If they could charge us for air I’m sure they would. Pay as you go gas and electric is just as bad, another ploy to rip us off. Everything so happens to be cheaper threw direct debit – why? It’s because they don’t want to pay people to work! We’ll soon be living like the Jetsons, everything electrical and nothing manual. At this rate - we’ll all be cabbages!

Then there’s Insurance!!! I think if we don’t make a claim over a year’s period we should get our money back - period!! But why don’t we get our money back?! Where does it go? Who’s making the profit? Someone please answer this. Once the year has comes to pass and a claim hasn’t been made we should therefore be refunded – or at least allow for it to roll on! They’re so quick to tell us our cover has now expired, it’s damn near annoying! Whose world is this anyway? Why are we made to live by these rules? Who really benefits? Not us! Which law states we must pay these bills? I don’t remember signing any contracts, so why do we feel so obligated to do so? Living stress free is damn near impossible. One bill after another, will we every see the end to this system we call modern life? I think not. Food for thought, my advice to you is to work hard, be happy - the rest, it seems is out of our hands.

Gordon Ramsey. When it comes to reality television, he hits the nail on the head. His passion is real, his honest and refreshing, his straightforward, has great discipline and he means well. When it comes to “kitchen nightmares” I won’t miss an episode. No one I’ve seen before on TV has the very essence Gordon Ramsey possesses; he literally takes no crap and does nothing to sooth the ego of his followers. (Ok yes, it’s a TV show and yes, he is paid for doing what he does – So?! Why not do it to the best of his ability? After all, they DID call him.) His not afraid to speak his mind on people’s actions, personality and the abilities they do or do NOT posses. When it comes to telling them they’re pretentions, up their own arse, full of shit and arrogant he doesn’t miss a beat - fantastic television! Could you imagine upsetting Gordon Ramsey? “I’ve never believed in any one as little as you.” That’s like a thousand knifes hitting you at once – queue the opening sequence – SO bang on!! It works and every moment just keeps getting better.

When you sit and watch a show, you never see Gordon Ramsey as the villain always the angel in disguise; what’s he going to do or say next?! His like the Uncle we’ve always wanted, but never quite got. His ability to turn families, colleagues and businesses around is truly a gift and it defiantly shines threw. So I suppose success starts with being totally honest with you! What always makes me laugh is, whomever he maybe working with, may sometimes imply they know best/better over Gordon Ramsey and are constantly out to prove Gordon wrong (err, why call him in the first place if so is the case? Stubbornness! It’s classic adult behaviour!). When they realise his tactics work and he is RIGHT they tend to go off and cry, to then return like a child willing to listen – FAB television!! Those moments ARE refreshing to see. It shows grown in a person, strength courage and their willingness to step away from their comfort zone into a new regime of life - it’s fantastic. Yes, the language used in-between this fulfilling transformation is foul - but let’s face it; it’s all the more interesting to watch. We all want to see passion that real people can relate to; it’s the crucial ingredient that makes for good reality TV.

Gordon Ramsey in Kitchen Nightmares gets my vote. I love what can inspire, send drive and bring passion to us as individuals – this (to me) is the very essence of life. Gordon Ramsey, he really can be lethal, but you know what?! We can’t help but love him. If you miss an episode go to www.channel4.com/watchonline  or catch episodes on the Tube - that’s YouTube, just type in Kitchen nightmares. Enjoy!!

So, what’s it all about? Go on then. Why not talk about dreaded relationships for a brief moment. Where and why do they go so horribly wrong? Is there ever an ending when it comes to learning about relationships? I think not. That's because we are always learning about ourselves, and we're constantly growing, and constantly changing. No one (as they say) is perfect, but there are such people/couples that some may regard as being perfect. These are just people that genuinely learn from their mistakes, and make better the 2nd, 3rd and even 4th time around, and although there's no such thing as being perfect, they do have strength in their abilities to put right their wrongs. In the eyes of the weak, that could make them perfect - to me, that’s just being sensible. And when do we start to learn and spot our relationship mistakes? From the very first time we get hurt. No one that comes along will or should treat you any different because of your past, it’s up to you to do so. In any new situation it’s your choice whether you allow your past to affect your future – YOUR CHOICE!

Now, if u constantly compare your past to your present, you’ll never see the present for what it is.  Who loses out? Is it that hard for you to accept that what’s done is done? Are you that weak emotionally that you have not the vision to understand why you feel the way you do?? Just put it into words. If we don’t learn form or mistakes we constantly keep making the same mistakes again and again and again, and getting the same results regardless if we decide to dust ourselves off and try again. It’s your knowledge that changes you. To learn and to put into practise is what makes you change. Accept that you are becoming a different person with a newer understanding, regardless of the disapproval of your peers, that’s change! With change your mind grows, your understandings become wider and your self awareness becomes more apparent. You’re more confident and positive, you’ll know more of what you want whether it's in love or just life – we can ALL change. When a relationship has gone wrong or is going wrong, TALK! Get it off your chest. Don’t live with the weight of negative energy, you must love yourself better then that, or who else will? If we don’t talk, how can we justify what we feel? How can we possibly grow?? How can we move on?? It becomes impossible, and history will just keep repeating itself.

In the life of love, relationships, learning and the pursuit to happiness there is no end, there is no time limit, it's a 24 hour job without pay (in some cases). You can live a life time trying your best, doing what you've always done, and never get back what you put in. Or you could live a life time knowing and putting it into practice new changes, and get better results each time. Even in the most successful of relationships you're still learning. The difference is only that you have two willing people, sharing their new understandings and communicate with one another. This is what I'll call real love, because of the respect and understanding. But don’t dwell if you find yourself going around in circles, we’ve all been there, all is not lost. Make a choice - you can either play this game or be played by the game, it really is that simple – so what hand you gonna play next? Wake up and start getting better results in love, and the respect you want in your relationships. For the record, It’s not about how you look, what you wear, where you hang out or who you hang with. It’s about how you handle your business. You need to start acting right instead of acting as though you want someone to save you – save yourself!!

My mood: very amazed